Sorry, But The Pockets Of My Soul Aren’t Deep. Yours?

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So you think it’s all hunky dory always? My happy posts, my awesome workout regimes, meeting some great people on earth, going bonkers over some amazing experiences, food and luxury… It all exists and is true. It’s me – no faking. I am indeed on a life tripping mode. But, the happiness doesn’t come in isolation. It will come at a cost but YOU decide if you will pay it or not.

Almost at the brim of winning an elite international contest by Govt. of Kerala, India and I get a call from home. On the other side was my mom, choked with a bad news. My room was on fire. I was with my school friend and he was about to drop me to an industry friend’s party. I didn’t have my car with me that day and the call was just well-timed (shoot am hopeless positive :P). As I rushed to catch metro, I thought of all of my favourite things that could have possibly been burnt down. You know, this time stretch is particularly the toughest when you don’t know the real thing and your imagination is taking your case. And as I entered my room that now had its pink walls turned black, I looked for the most expensive out of all the things that I couldn’t afford to lose comparatively – my Notebook. It survived. (Stupid of me to bring the pain back as I revisit the incident in my mind…) My running shoes… were gone and other good amount of stuff was reduced to ashes. There was numbness in my existence that day and I still remember going to bed with mom in her room, crying and not letting her know that it has hit me yet thanking God who saved my house, my parents, my dogs and giving me another chance to prove I can bring back all the materialistic things to me as long as I am healthy and capable.

What followed was a little more than worse – my digital camera that I had bought on installments was stolen by the workers who came to repair my room. I knew it was them and could have got it back somehow but something in me stopped. It wasn’t about the digicam. There was something about the series of things that were happening. I let it go.

I needed no time to pick myself up. It was all materialistic and somehow I have built myself to the point in my life where all things material don’t matter to me the way they used to. Of course I want them, I want all that could possibly make my life comfortable but I am only ready to pay the currency for it not the “cost”. The cost here is my fearlessness, the strength of my soul, not giving up & getting bogged down by external factors. Question yourself – Can I today sit at the road with nothing in my pocket and have the guts to create wealth out of nothing? The answer should come to you before the question ends. I haven’t sat at the road literally, though, (lol) but have seen almost-nothing-in-my-bank-account phase (c’mon who hasn’t..) and never gave up! (btw, sitting beside a road peacefully and seeing people, traffic, the mad rush isn’t a bad thing at all.. 🙂 try it..)

And another one! I was discussing my Kerala trip with a friend and how I wished to cover it. I was promised help with it. Just two weeks before the trip we were supposed to meet and the person didn’t turn up. I am not judging. I am no one to judge. May be the person was stuck or was in an inexplicable situation. But yes, mine had become helpless at the same time. I am just seeing the situation I was put into by universe where I had developed expectations and how they got crumbled. I didn’t know what to do in such a short time. So I decided to do it my way, show up like a rockstar and make the best out of whatever I could. And let me tell you, not for once I missed not being well-equipped because we never had the time. The trip was indeed a fast ‘express’ of back-to-back moments where the ‘me-time’ was only when we crashed in our rooms at night. I couldn’t have done what I had planned. And now that I am back, I am writing it all down with time by my side.

And it’s not that people are not going to ditch you, they are going to do it most of the time (I was refraining to use the word ‘ditch’ but IT IS what it is) but trust me, there are equal or more amount of people who will keep their word and live up to your expectations and prove that sentiment wrong. In fact, they aren’t doing any favour to you, they are just being themselves – genuinely good and committed.

Everything falls in place if you believe. Be stubborn.

Something will go “wrong”, depends if you are taking it as going wrong or something not working out in present as a base for something that’s going to work out in future. Something will happen that will balance out for your happiness. It will test you if you are relentless enough to sustain your inner peace against things which do not matter in real but appear as the end-of-the-world.

Would you let yourself fall prey to the things that are ready to charge you heavy? Something that the pockets of your soul cannot afford… I don’t think you should shell out that much ever… Never.

You know… I still don’t have a new pair of running shoes but I have feet and nobody, nothing can stop me from running 🙂


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Sorry, But The Pockets Of My Soul Aren’t Deep. Yours?